Don’t worry, I won’t use technical terms about psychology. Anyway, I don’t even know them so you won’t have to rack your brains to understand. I’m just going to give you some advice in relation with the NGT Master’s degree.
To put it in simple terms, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a set of various strategies which are used to improve our behaviour pattern in any context implying communication with other people. It is also defined as an approach to self-improvement that will help you to tackle your fears. Therefore, this method is a tool to achieve an effective negotiation. To be more specific, NLP refers to a stated connection between the neurological processes (‘neuro’), language (‘linguistic’) and behaviour that has been learned through experience (‘programming’). This concept was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970s.
Here are three strategies that will help you to pass on messages diplomatically and create a good working relationship:
1. SYNCHRONIZATION
In other words, to synchronize means to reproduce the same mode of communication as your interlocutor in order to create mutual interests. Let me explain by giving you some concrete examples. Imagine you are in a meeting. If all the people around you keep quite and try to sort out a problem without shouting, just act the same way. If you don’t, they will see you as a disruptive person and will think you are unable to communicate by respecting the others. You must also use the same type of language. Avoid using sophisticated language when you talk about a specific subject with someone who isn't a specialist. Conversely, try to watch your language if you talk to someone who is a bit more mannered. Be careful, you must not ‘ape’ the person!
2. CONSIDERATION
To consider someone enables you to avoid a conflict. This involves three distinct steps: rephrasing what your correspondent just said, getting a ‘yes’ and giving him your point of view. As I know students love being given examples, here is one: let’s imagine that one of your colleagues tells you that your idea is complete nonsense. Instead of getting worked up, just rephrase his sentence (‘so you are saying that my idea isn’t …, aren’t you?’). Your interlocutor will say ‘yes’ and that’s all there is to it! The person you are talking to will feel that you are coming round to her point of view and won’t think you are trying to go against her. Now you can argue your case with serenity.
3. OBSERVATION OF THE COMMUNICATION CHANNEL
Everyone has a dominant channel which is auditory, visual or sensory. To determine that of your interlocutor, you must demonstrate active listening concerning the vocabulary used. Once you have found out his preferred channel, it’s better to answer with sentences such as: ‘I hear what you mean’ (auditory), ‘I see what you mean’ (visual) or ‘I feel your pain’ (sensory). The person will feel understood subconsciously.
To sum up, you must adapt yourself to the person you are talking to, even if this is not the way you would like to behave. The goal is to earn the trust of your interlocutor and put him at ease so that he feels closer to you. Yes, that’s what you are thinking: negotiation goes hand in hand with hypocrisy. Don’t you agree?
To know more about the NLP techniques, here are some links:
Delphine Cormons
I think your article is very interesting, especially for the negotiating class!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with the fact that social relationship is quite hypocrite, but I prefer to consider it as a game.
This kind of theory is very helpful in the everyday life, and I’m going to learn them by heart for business relationship!
MAILHES Marie
I'm glad you learned things from my article. I just gave the students some examples of NLP but in fact there are much more techniques such as hypnosis (don't try it!) and it shows how a person can control your mind just talking to you. The professionals who practise theses methods always make a link with the business world, that's why I found interesting to share them with you.
ReplyDeleteTheses strategies are also in relation to our negotiation class so they can be useful to improve your knowledge!
Anyway, let's play the game!
Delphine Cormons
I also agree, it's very interesting, but it's also frightening to see how easy it is to manipulate someone. This hypocritical way to communicate can be used by anybody in any situation, so it can be hard to distinguish truth from lies and to be sure of who you can trust.
ReplyDeleteAs the business world is a jungle, I think we will have to be careful when we finish our master's degree and work in a company.
Having said that, I think these methods should really help us becoming good negotiators, and it's a solid additional information to our negotiation lesson.
Noémie Gonin
Thank you Noémie for this relevant comment.
ReplyDeleteThe conclusion is that we can't really be sure of the sincerity of our correspondent.
However, it's important to keep in mind that when somebody is trying to convince us, we mustn't forget our basic idea and we must be able to assert ourselves when we disagree, always using an appropriate language!
Delphine Cormons